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~ Healthy Marriage! Healthy Finances! Healthy Life!
When it comes to rules there isn’t a one size that fits all clause. Relationships can be difficult enough, but when you mix in finances that’s an entirely different conversation. Depending on which financial expert, which channel or which book, you will receive conflicting recommendations. It’s important to gather as much information as possible and discuss what is best for you and your partner. In the end, you have to live with the decision, implement the tools and practice daily.
Basic questions arise while dating and before marriage. Who should pay the bills? Should we have ajoint account? Should we maintain our independence? As a personal financial expert, I would say yes to an agreed strategy!
You can be in a healthy relationship while maintaining your independence. Again, it’s whatever works for you.
Rules to consider…
There was a couple on the brink of a divorce because their finances were out of control and considering bankruptcy. John and Beth were financially frustrated and discontinued all communication with each other. Although they’ve been married for 13 yrs they have always paid the bills separate, have separate accounts, never discussed their financial status and lived like roommates.
John and Mary have opened a joint account solely for household and personal bills. They have designated Mary to pay all the bills and deposit $200 per month in each of their personal accounts. Although, they are now jointly responsible for the household, the couple maintains some independence, which is important in a healthy relationship.
They have also negotiated an aggressive payment plan with their creditors. John and Mary are now content in their relationship as they make decisions together and talk every week about their financial and personal future. Since they are now living as husband, wife, and not roommates, the idea of filing bankruptcy and divorce is no longer considered.
The couple disclosed that before there was no need to discuss their finances or concerns since they never commingled their monies. They never adjusted their financial responsibilities once they were married and continued to apply the same tools as if they were single. Since marrying their finances, the couple is noticed to be in a happier state of mind.