Do You Know What A Condom Is?

That was the question I asked my 11 year old daughter yesterday. While in the health clinic, waiting on her to get a physical, she spotted a big box full of Lifestyle condoms sitting out for the public. So she asked me, “mom, what are those?”  At first I hesitated because the topic of sex with your child(ren) is generally uncomfortable, however, instead of telling her she didn’t need to know or don’t worry about it I decided to give her a straightforward answer. I told her those are condoms. She seemed pleased with the answer and didnt investigate any further. Now of course this raised my curiosity to see how much she knew about this subject matter. So I asked her did she know what condoms were. Suprisingly she answered yes. So I asked her did she know what they were used for and she explained they are used to prevent pregnancy and disease when your are having sex and it’s a 50% chance it works. Now in my mind I’m thinking, um when did my child learn all this but I continued calmly with the conversation and corrected her on the failure rate if used properly. I asked if she had any questions and she said no but confessed she knew what oral sex was so I asked her to tell me. She responded it’s “when a girl puts her mouth on a boys privates”. 

I didn’t realize my child knew as much as she did about sex. Actually I’m glad the condom box was a segway into us having another much needed conversation (as this isn’t the first). I realized that her asking me what “those” were in the box was honestly a test for me. She already knew what they were but she wanted to see if I would be comfortable enough to talk about it and tell her the truth. Thankfully I did because if i hadn’t she may have taken that as sex is a topic that she shouldn’t talk to me about. So this is a PSA to all parents. Please talk to your children about sex. Just because you haven’t talked to them doesn’t mean they haven’t heard anything. Stop thinking that because you haven’t exposed your child to certain topics yet that is the general rule for all households. Unfortunately our children interact with other children who parents may not be as protective. It is important you start early instilling the messages about sex and sexuality that are important to you and the health and well-being of your child. Always use the appropriate names for body parts and sexual acts. Most of all talk openly and honestly. If you don’t know the answer to something, admit it and research the answer. In a society where our children are constantly bombarded with images about their body and sexuality, it is important we as parents validate how special and beautiful their bodies are.

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